I have spent many an hour tossing & turning over my actions. The choices ranged far and wide - take the stairs/ the elevator. Go out with friends/snuggle in. Accept a dinner invite/cook at home. Get that coffee/ drink that refreshing glass of water. Stay close to home/go overseas and try new lands. Break out of a relationship/see it through. Wear orange/carry my umbrella/bike to the station/roll out the car/call my Mom.....
They were all important decisions, or so they seemed. And then today morning I wake up the the news - "Death with dignity advocate, takes life with pills". I didn't know how to react for a bit. And then my world went for a toss. I mean, I know people have done this before. But I had seen her video just the other day and she seemed to be coherent and doing decently well. She did mention that she was looking better than she was feeling. But it just seems soo.. final. What if a miracle had been in the awnings waiting to happen. We'll never know.
But one thing I do know. I have today. I have now. And even if it isn't great, it is worth more than lying on bed reading some random BS. It is one more healthy day. I owe it to myself to make the best choices and make the most of it.
I hope I do.
