Moments

Met with a few friends today evening. This small bunch - a guy in his 50's, a girl (girl? woman I guess) in her late 30's and another couple of guys 25-35. And me. We drank, ate and talked. Talked about days younger, when all of us were upto comparatively more "no-good" in life. Swapping stories and experiences, travel anecdotes. With music running in the back-ground all the time. Somehow felt like I had my first ever grown-up evening.

And then on the way back, I was driving at my usual crazy speed, keeping up with the crowd when I saw some cops lights glowing in the distance. I didn't really want to slow down the others behind me. But didn't want to be speeding right next to the cop either. So came down to this speed which I thought was a moderate balance (still above the speed limit but not by much). Seconds later I realized I was no longer in a crowd - all the other drivers had slowed down much more leaving me all by myself! suddenly bare from the crowd I was surrounded by just moments ago. Of-course I didn't get a ticket but I did have a good laugh looking back into the rear-view mirror.

Nice evening. Wish I had pictures of it.

Bend in the Road

Going on the train from NJ to New York, NY you come across a curve in the track where you cross this building real close. Its the corner of the building and the first time I was sure we were very close, too close for my comfort. But ever since I am in the habit of looking forward for this turn. It gives you a good view of the tail end of the train and perhaps a peak into the building.

In life too most often its not until I arrive at a curve that I notice what a good stretch I've been having. I guess every change gives a good perspective of what has been and maybe a glimpse of what is to come. Just like how right at this moment after reading what I have already written I feel its soo preachy but hadn't thought so a moment ago while I was writing it down! :D

Anyhow, I will attribute this change in mood to the drawing to close of the year. Happy holidays everyone! Make merry and a ton of good memories.

Treats

Cadbury's Eclairs. Those were my favorite treats as a kid. We used to get some every so often and I used to relish every slurp of the toffee. And then came Nutties. What all I would have done for each crunchy bite of those! Nanna used to indulge us quite a bit and so I might have ended up trying most of the range of chocolates offered by Cadbury's. With Amma treats mostly translated to some sweet or dish she would make for us. My favourite is boorillu. Even to this day she makes them on my b'day if we happen to spend it together.

These days I get my treats from a very unexpected source - my colleague in the lab. His brother happens to be employed in a Hong Kong bakery (Kee Wah) and they make these really delicious buns/cookies. So when I happen to be working in the same lab as my colleague at coffee-break time, he graciously shares his stash for the day and once more the treat never fails to delight.

Photos

Simply love them; could waste hours reminiscing over pictures. Somehow they seem to capture the best of moments. And encapsulate a part of time, giving you back that fleeting moment once more everytime you look at the photo.
On all my trips back home, I never miss browsing through all those albums Amma stocks safely under lock and key. Albums filled with black and white photos which slowly progress to colour and now to digital format. Prefer the paper photos though. Somehow more tangible. The more the time elapsed since the photo the more valuable it becomes - I simply dote on all the black & whites!
Should remember to get some prints of my digital photos one of these days. And buy a camera. Surprisingly for one who loves browsing photos I don't own a camera currently!

Sounding Board

As a child I never contemplated. As a teenager I had too many siblings and cousins; things happening to ever waste time sitting and brooding. During undergrad there were a handful of friends who I could turn to to talk my mind. And Akka. I'm very fortunate to have my sister (though my actions often contradict this statement, it is nevertheless very true). I spent grad years on countless phone conversations and long chat sessions with friends and family. Which continued on into the first couple of working years.

And then people started drifting. It had started early on; right after school but was gradual till now. Now I hardly trust anyone to understand or share my concerns. In a way I've become more reclusive too. Not that I'm trying to hide from others; just that I'm not over-boarding my thoughts on them. But still once in a while I miss those carefree conversations when I could thoughtlessly talk of what was bugging me the most. I miss my sounding boards.

Intentions

Often on Saturdays I end up at the local farmers market looking for my hit - fresh fruit and yummy stall food. Most Saturdays on reaching the farmers market and realizing that I have forgotten to get my bags with me, I resolve to go home and stash a few bags in the car so I don't go indiscriminately using plastic covers the next time around.

Some days (especially now in winter) I end up at some local desi restaurant looking for some hot chai. The place I frequent the most serves it in Styrofoam cups. A few of the places I eat at serve food in Styrofoam plates. I was recently made aware of the effects of Styrofoam on the environment. Most times (actually make that every time) so far, I have been turning a blind eye towards this.

Since a conversation I had with a friend recently on how we follow the norm of the mass to justify our actions, I have been mulling over all of this and realized intentions are no longer good enough. I have to act to not make things worse; I'm nowhere close to making things better. I should atleast take the first steps in ensuring that I don't add to our environmental woes.

And while I'm at it, I shouldn't forget the VTA for my commute to work. It does stop right in front of my company.

Justifications?

There was a talk which I attended recently. About a particular waste management project in India. This one municipality is employing people to collect/sort/recycle/compost waste from households and in the process generating employment and keeping the community clean and green.

They made it a point to mention that the group particularly employs underprivileged women (unemployed, abused, orphaned, wives of criminals, etc.). To them, this is acceptable employment and they are happy that they get the income they do from it.

After the whole talk though I was left with a vague uneasiness - it just didn't seem right to ask these "underprivileged" people to do something that I wouldn't consider doing myself. I strongly agree that waste management is a very necessary part of the whole existence process, but am unable to work my head around justifying people working in those conditions. Is there not a way to avoid having to process waste - by educating people in the proper disposal of the same; in not using non-recyclable items, etc?

Single Story

I'm an ardent fan of TED and on one of my recent browsing sprees on their website came across this: Single Story. I have to admit I'm very guilty of many a time getting carried away by the Single Story. Hoping that now that I'm conscious about it, I will not do it that often.

Times

I've read of different kinds of times. Times of war, viral diseases, civil strife, drought. Times when survival becomes a fight. Something to be claimed from the jaws of death. When a slight of honor meant guns drawn at dawn. Gone are the grandiose days of the horse clicking its way down paved roads. Gone are the serene days of the bicycle hoards. Gone are the days when a motor vehicle is a novelty, a pride of ownership. When there were nooks and corners of the world still left to be discovered. The shape of the earth to be defined. Men were waiting to take flight.

Now seem to be the days of social networking. Online. Atleast that is what seems to be characterizing my days. For me its the days of connecting with family and friends over the net. And I guess its not too surprising I work for a company that helps make that network happen. My day seems to revolve around my laptop. From the moment I wake up and check my email to the time I turn off the light, eyes drooping playing the game on my phone that too gets there through the network. Its come to the stage where I have forgotten that I need to check my "snail" mail ever so often.

Do I like where I am? I don't not like it. Though I did feel a tug of longing when I was writing about the times that have gone by never to be seen again. But then again I like it that I'm just a ping away from everyone/everything that matters to me.

Hmmm So....

We had a product release party a few weeks ago. It was like any other release party, only this time I let someone take a photo of me. I didn't think much of it till this lady came to my cube a couple of days ago to get me to sign a release. It was the first time I signed a "model release" letter to allow the use of my picture. Didn't think much of it then either actually. And then yesterday they placed a poster in the lobby of my building with my picture right there on top. Alongside others of-course. And that's when I noticed. Or rather other people did. And suddenly random colleagues were coming upto me and asking if that is me on the poster downstairs!

My "5min of fame"?

Rain and Me

Option 1: Stay in bed all day cuddled up in my cozy comforters with an interesting book and some warm drinks and hot bajjies. And listen to the lazy patter of the rain.

Option2: Drive around in my car with the best rain songs and let loose my repressed vocal chords.

Option 3: Make some comfort food, call friends home and spend the whole day playing board games and lazing around chit-chatting.

Option 4: Get into that pouring rain and soak till the skin wrinkles and the shivers start only to get beck to a hot hot shower and hot chocolate. And bajjies. And blaring music.

What I did end up doing:

Drove to work wishing I could turn around. Eyes popped when I got there around 10am to a full parking lot (it was terrible weather) and realized people have started losing all sense of a bad weather day! Went for that yum Indian buffet lunch (which did have bajjies and hot tea btw) and met friends, one by pleasant chance. Looked up all songs good for a rainy day. Did some work somewhere along the way. And drove back home with the volume punched up high and windows rolled down, the occasional spatter of rain a refreshing bonus. Went shopping with my roomie (my iPhone finally has a cover!!) and ended with some TV and tasty leftovers.

Not exactly what I would have planned but a lovely day nevertheless. Love Monsoon. Wish we had it here in the US.

Old Friends

Lying in the sun, with the wooden deck warming her back, she felt it couldn't get better this. One of her friends was busy clicking photos for posterity's sake. The other three were lazing too in various degrees of relaxation, one leaning against the post and dangling her feet in the clear water under the deck.

Meeting up after long, and still sharing the old comfort with each other. Friends and Sun and lazy Banter and breathtaking Views. Life is Good.

Experiences Beyond

When an idea is personified by an image of a big bubble surfacing to the top of a conical head with viscous brains,
When a tired shoulder is an image of an opaque and heavy limb slumping along the spine,
When happy is a state with no reason,
When the happiness turns into a full blown clutching your stomach with pain attack of laughs,
When no amount of food can quench your stomach's hunger,
When sleep is a thick blanket your eyes are overcome with suddenly...

... then my friend you have had a brownie at a music concert in SFO.

The Perpetual Nomad

That's what I seem to be... this is my 4th move in two years... am getting quite good at packing and unpacking and carting things around. Compare this to my childhood spent all at the same house (almost) and school. Looks like I'm trying to balance out across the years :) But as they say, Change is the essence of life and I'm more than happy making that my mantra.

The Zen Room. Thats what I'm calling my room right now. Its got the best balance of light and the serenading sound of the fountain close by just soothes the spirit. Its... picture perfect! And then I stumbled upon the dark thread of ants running across the room the other day. Now I'm trying to co-exist with them. Telling myself they are not bothering me as long as they don't bite. All part of the Zen living. Time to bring my plants home and imbibe them into the ecosystem that is my room.

First Times

New experiences, anticipation and excitement go hand in hand for me. I look forward to the event/experience from the day I know I will be a part of it. Like the first time I went for a grand slam final. The first music concert I attended. The first time I went white water rafting. First time I visited New York, London. First time I went on that crazy ride in a theme park, first time skiing.

For the most part First Times turn out to be fun. But sometimes, they don't live up to the expectations. Its probably cos all that anticipation builds up the expectations sky high. The experiences though have always been worth having. And even though at the end of the day on some occasions it might seem anticlimactic, I've never regretted any of them so far.

I'm about to go on another First Time. A trip to Las Vegas! In all the time I've been here, which is quite considerable BTW, I've never been yet. As usual the anticipation and expectations are high. I know how they say expectations are not a good thing. But alas I am but a base human being and could never separate the two. And so Las Vegas here I come, looking forward to a dazzling experience!

Board Games

Its a kind of family pass time which has been around for as long as I can remember. Since the first pin ball board long ago to the dozen or so I cart along with me to every new place I move to. Summers past wasted away pursuing a marathon run of monopoly, caroms, etc. Its almost a tradition now with the cousins and us playing board games late into the night whenever we happen to meet up. The monotony of the game never gets to us, we can keep going at it forever and not get tired. Can keep at it till more urgent and unrelenting needs like hunger pangs and droopy eyes finally drive us to pursue deeds beyond the board.

Last week the games were revived again... my sister and cousin visited and old habits it seems die hard. Had fun playing game after game of monopoly, like we used to all those summers. With a game of scrabble thrown in here and there. Over the years spent in the US, I have collected close to a dozen board games thanks to the multitude of friends who introduced me to new games and the inner addict in me.

This is probably one of the few pursuits my whole family involves in at various times. I still remember the long ludo games played with my Grandmother; chess which our father introduced to us; chinese checkers... and the list goes on. And even though I never remember my Grand-dad ever playing with us, I still do have memories associated with him and board games - like the time he threw all the jackpot cards (resembling in shape and size to playing cards) away cos he didn't want us getting addicted to gambling. In retrospect I realize he didn't want us getting addicted to games which waste time either, but unfortunately that lesson was never learnt. And a new tradition was born.

Stuck in Traffic

Beautiful evenings these days. In a hurry to reach destinations (though I don't know why I hurry) there have been one too many opportunities lost where I could have rolled down the window, slowed down and enjoyed the ambiance.

This weekend I got a chance to do just that - am happy the choice wasn't mine to make. Was a beautiful evening with a serene sunset.. one of those sedately darkening nights. And earlier on winding country roads. Had the windows rolled down, with me in the backseat sleeping on and off for most part of the day. Was heavenly!

Slowing down and enjoying the moment -that seems to be the path to bliss..

Remember when....

The dark hours of the day. The kids all settled in & sleeping.. or so they were supposed to be. The wooden gate would open and in would walk a gaggle of friends out to collect their Aunt, on the way of their ritual walk. The two little tots couldn't contain their curiosity and followed them where they led. On the road they romped along on all day but looked not the least bit familiar at this mysterious hour. Careful to keep their distance lest they be discovered.

The words among the friends were flowing - whispered, sounding like a wash of sound rather than anything meaningful. They reached the open fields. And the last remnants of light the lonely streetlamp was shedding vanished. The kids could see nothing beyond. And their Aunt had disappeared into the darkness, engulfed by the unknown. Their tiny hearts beat hard pondering the dark void in front of them. They wanted to be brave, but the sound of the night creatures drove their thoughts and steps around. Running for their lives back to the known comfort of the cool white sheets under the starlit skies. The sheets that would protect them against the spirits of the night until their eyes shuttered and they slipped into blissful sleep.

The unsolved mysteries.

The Best Wheels

Changing seasons. The wait for sunny weather. The cursing of cold days and nights; especially when you happen to leave that jacket behind at home. The joy in gliding down bare white slopes. The Earth pining for those long awaited showers; the heart for the splendor of the skies - lightning and thunder. The anticipation of new blooms. Love everything about changing seasons that finally lead to a Summer!

A bright afternoon. Shiny new wheels. The rush of leaves as the wind blows though your hair and into the trees. The crunch of gravel under the slender tires. California summers! Especially while on a bicycle in the woods, with a blanket in tow for that nap under a tree.

Used to take sunny weather for granted. But now that I've been away from India, I yearn for and am grateful when sunny days happen and I have the chance to be out on such days. And only a fellow Indian would probably understand why a "changing" goes in front of seasons when it is so obvious. Nice to have a bike again!!

********

PS: Thanks Madhav, Anshu for making it happen :)

Words

Love how words work together. Love how writers get creative with their choice of words - a string of random words does not a book make, but the right combination makes a story worth reading. How they can riddle you up with laughter making people around you wonder whats wrong with you or how they make you clear off that tear trickling down your cheek before anyone notices. How one word makes up for all the hurt. And another fills you up with joy. How put to music you can hear them over and over again. They have the capacity to mean everything and sometimes nothing. And how you feel miffed and confused when you don't find the right word. Phrases you remember forever and end up making yours. How what you read and write and say eventually speak for what you are.

Was a time when I couldn't turn a book down before I was done reading it. Now the book from the library languishes on the bed till I'm beyond the allowed renewals and at a stage of trying to avoid fines. I hate that I'm addicted to the online games and plead sore eyes when friends suggest online books. I hate how I rant but don't do anything about it! But I have hope. And that is my favorite word these days.

Words are powerful.