A Wall - Update

Since I don't have walls to paint on - I did the next best thing. Painted on a T-shirt! It was a lot of fun. Hoping to do more of it.

A Wall

This past Thursday was the best weather I have experienced in a while. It was absolutely sublime. Cleared out the woozies in one swell sweep. Nature has this way of setting things, doesn't it? Anyway since then I've come across a couple of pics that are sooo awesome that I've decided - the next time I rent (can't at current place) I'm so dedicating a wall to painting. Maybe more than one wall. Bring some fun into the room.

Antsy

Thats my current phase. Everything feels wrong and then not so wrong. Decisions feel oh so right only to be followed by regret. Thoughts don't last. Opinions keep changing. Work of course is slacking and thats not helping.

Tried music, not helping - not even Mozart (though I might like it when not in this mood maybe). What am I looking for? Home beckons? Wish I could make that trip to India! If only for a change of scene.

But then things are not so bad either. Found new food I like. And a new clothes store I like. And new activities I'd like to work more on. Hmmm lets see where it all ends..

Oh and vegetarianism - still not happening. Though I feel bad every time I eat meat.

Winter

I've been having this craving for a cold winter! I'm sure within a week I'll be wanting to get out of it, but till then I shall crave. Its wonderful how pristine a snowy day is. The soft flakes gently floating down. Best time for that movie day/night.

Here in CA with the good weather we have all year long, it feels like a waste to spend a whole day indoors. Guilty almost. But then on the east coast, it would be the oh so natural thing to do - spending a snowy day in front of your TV watching re-runs, sipping hot stuff, eating yummy fried snacks.

What can I say, I have a craving. And I might say anything to justify it.

Ambience

Was just rising from the haze of sleep, when I heard the whistle of a train. And was surprised that I heard it - its all of a mile away. And then out of the haze, I wondered why that should be.

Back in my grandparents village the track is quite a bit further away and the train whistle is one of the things to tell the time of the day by (and be right on the rare days the train runs on time). Cynicism aside, that is how people there boarded the town bus too - they would wait for the driver to sound the horn and then scramble to the bus stand at the very edge of the village.

In my current environs most sounds are absorbed by the surroundings - a busy, chugging & churning commercial city; I rarely notice them. But maybe one day I'll go back to my village and cleanse my system of the ambient noise levels I'm used to (and ignore) and once again start hearing that gentle breeze rustling through trees.

So...

The deed is done. I had lamb chops tonight. What can I say... I guess with the bad health I had all of last week, there was 7 pounds lesser backing up the will, and it crashed.. But have been feeling much better today and hope to build up that muscle behind the will soon. Till then, all ye living things on two legs and you unsuspecting poor lambs, watch out!

Burning

I never thought it through till now... am not sure I've done that yet.. but I take back my stand on protest by burning. It felt like a big waste, sacrilege even - burning down piles and piles of stuff just to protest against it... but then I'm starting to see the point.
See it all started with me trying to be vegetarian. We were at this restaurant earlier and per my new requirements I asked the waitress if a certain dish could be made without meat. She said she would check with the chef - which I understood to mean she would check to see if he could cook it without the meat. Ultimately though I ended up with a meat version of the dish - but with the meat pieces removed!

Anyway the dilemma was to eat or not eat. Since I am protesting against growing animals to eat their meat later, it felt wrong to eat the dish. But then the animal is already dead and I would be just wasting the food. A week back I'd have been relishing it! And so started a discussion on protest and burning/wasting stuff in protest. Like burning foreign clothes in protest, burning the recovered tusks of poached elephants. Wasting a can of coke cos its coke.

I felt bad about the tusks cos they are so magnificent, so they need to be valued not burnt! But then I realized, wanting them to be valued is promoting them as a possession. That's not what I want either! And so the only way out seems to be to destroy them. This sounds more like treating the symptoms and not the cause, but is there any other way around it? And why is it that I think something beautiful needs to be preserved?

The Common Pot

Hmm.. Common Plate actually. The Ethiopian style of serving food - in one large plate for the whole group. Heads gathered close as people move in to help themselves to the food. Passing the injera around and scooping up the various concoctions; the dishes so tasty. Conversations needn't be loud as there is no table span to speak across while talking with one another. Jostling with each other for the tastiest morsel while making sure your friends sample the best offerings on the plate. Reminds me of my childhood - never have eaten from a common plate since! The familiarity yet difference in taste with Indian cuisine making it a choice variant of comfort food. My only woe was that I couldn't dig into all that sure to be yummy non-veg food lying right there on the plate I was eating from! Tempted but not truly - the veggie food was awesome! Love the whole experience.

The Trials

I was at an acquaintances place recently and came across a drawing. By his niece/nephew. Three animals (I forget which) all lined up with a caption saying "Save Animals" - "Be Vegetarian".
I have always contemplated turning vegetarian and have tried it a few times - once even went a couple of months without eating meat. But it never stuck. I guess having been raised a non-vegetarian, I find it harder to resist. Or maybe that's just my excuse. But the drawing got me back to trying again. And this time on the very day I decided to give up meat was the night I ended up going to a store and buying some chicken pickle and relishing it. So much for my resolutions.
But I'm back on the wagon again since yesterday and trying to stay that way and these are my records to keep me honest & on the track.

This was my start:
Dinner yesterday: After about 3 hours of physical activity, got out craving some proteins & carbs (think lamb chops, gongura pachchadi with rice and mashed potatoes). Ended up with a grilled cheese sandwich from Jack in the Box - almost bailed and got the double cheese burger (slurp slurrp). Almost.
Lunch today: Salad bar. Did load up on eggs (decided that is still on the veggie menu for now).

Night Time Confessions

These days the constants are lack of sleep, packed days, work and loads of fun with friends. By the time I hit the sack, I'm wondering if I can wake up on time or if my tired body will ignore the cranky ring of my cell phone alarm. But then there is one other constant and that is chatting before I sleep. With a special friend. One who knows the major happenings of my days even if not the characters. It sometimes gets difficult to keep track with all the references we have for people rather than their names. A paltry attempt at keeping some privacy. Stories swapped, views compared, movies & books recommended, photos passed around and smilies exchanged. A restful end to some otherwise crazy days.
Its turned into a routine and I'm glad I have this friend to share stuff with. And today for no reason at all, I'd like my friend to know I'm happy we have formed this habit.

A Night Gone By

I was on vacation at this gorgeous place - lush green landscape, tropical rains cooling down the temperatures every so often, keeping the air pristine. It was the last night of the year. And I was sitting out on this porch. Hardly a light to be seen; just the dull haze from the night lamp inside the room. There was a screen on the outside to prevent bugs from bothering people and I could hear them croaking and cricketing to glory. The skies were shedding their weights and raining in rage. The breeze was beautifully pleasant - the winds from the rains drizzling spray everywhere. I could almost smell the earth, or maybe I did. The water in a nearby stream overflowing down the hill and gushing its way into oblivion. So forceful that it was the only reason I knew it existed. There weren't any fireworks harping the new year in. But nature was putting on its very own show.

I was alone on the porch. And I'm glad I had that moment to myself. Nature, a new year ahead and me.

The Day

It was finally here. The group had waited for it for long. Through the innumerable days training. Overcoming injuries - some were still suffering from them; but they were here today. Intent on seeing it through the finish. A good day for it - clouded, not too cold but with a crispness in the air which would sure come in handy.

The street lights were still on when the day started. Shining through the haze somehow. They were redundant soon enough though; the sun was out early on this summer day - behind the laden clouds. It was hard to believe it is summer. Everyone was ready, as ready as they could be. Or determined. Nothing would hold them back today. I was just a spectator. At best a supporter.

The endurance and will power in this group of people is phenomenal. Be it in the girl who slowly chugged her way to the finish or the guy with the injury to his foot which did not hold him back from finishing the run in 2:07! As one T-shirt said - "Running is a mental sport - and we are all INSANE". That's what I felt - they had to be insane to take this up! Their undying enthusiasm at the 10mi marker (where I was camped out for a long time) even after the steep climb that they just had to get over was amazing. They were thanking us for cheering them on! Dancing a jig to the tunes playing from their ipods.

The memories of the day will stay with me for long. The smiles from the runners passing us by. The camaraderie among the participants; supporting fellow runners to the finish. The determination overcoming the pain as they ran on with old injuries acting up. The buddy runner who ended up running about 20mi in support; and to think he had dropped off from registering for the half marathon due to injuries! The ecstatic joy in their faces as they reached the finish line. The sad eyes of the elder lady who couldn't believe her hip injury had to happen on this day after all her incident free training (I'm sure she will back again next year). Their appetites after the race :) The funny T-shirts they had on. The bundled up people ringing their bells, striking their gongs, cheering on the crowds of runners. The mass of humanity.

Unexpected

I got my hair cut yesterday. An expensive one, the most I have doled out yet for a hair cut. I usually let the stylist decide what they want to do with my hair. This time my only wish was to keep it shorter. And that was the first thing the guy overrode. He decided longer hair would rather suit me!

Anyway since I'd asked him to do whatever, couldn't complain much at that point. And so the only thing left to do was talk. And it was an interesting conversation. Jared was a construction worker in another life! Imagine, I was doling out good money to get my hair cut by an ex-construction worker.

He did tug at my hair more briskly than any other stylist I've known. And poked me with a pin once in between. But then after looking at the final result, I had to agree, he had come a long way from his construction days. And his leap in career choice must only have been cos he had found his calling.

Ads

Growing up, loved these ads from Dairy Milk - KuchKhaasHai1 & KKH3. And the Amul ads frequently updated on the billboard above Manikanda bakery - they had some of the best one liners I've seen so far.

There were one or two other ads I used to like watching - Humara Bajaj , Doodh Doodh. I'll bet you can't guess what this ad is for: Ad (unless you've already seen it :) ).

These days the ads I enjoy most are made by auto manufacturers. Like this one from Mercedes and this one from Audi. Love them. Have to record this one from Honda as one of the good ones. Some non auto mfg ads like this one on seat belts! And not to forget the Incredible India ads. This one that plays on psychology from Virgin Mobile reminds me of the stuff we used to try on our parents :P Love the punch line on this one :)

Creativity captured in short span of a commercial! Love it. Wish I could make stuff like this.

Games and Volunteers

Did I already mention it - I love board games? I must have. But time for re-iteration - I love board games!! :)

Be it with house-mates over a game of Blokus or with strangers over friendly matches of Carroms or with friends over competitive Catan; inevitable to have fun. Spent last Saturday playing carroms. I never perceived myself as a good player. I still think I'm not; but I have my flashes of genius! Lets not get carried away - flashes of good playing :P Thanks in dollops to my doubles partner.

Volunteering is fun. Be it at the Carroms tournament or the early morning runs on Saturday where I'm the water carrier :) Free rides to beautiful locations and the chance to bike in said locations. Rubbing shoulders with people resolute enough to run marathons or half marathons. Conversing with die hards who believe in the cause. These are the fun parts of volunteering; the stuff I participate in. But then there is a whole different level to it. There is something to be said about people who diligently attend meetings and coordinate projects long distance; who spend hours and days in advancing their cause and organize rallies to increase awareness, in researching for their fights; who stake out dharanas; who leave behind personal aims and ambitions to work for others less fortunate.

So here's to all the real volunteers out there, doing an awesome job at it, not craving recognition or accolades but just the greater good of people - you are amazing!

Elelments

Breathing in and out through the mouth, her whole mind concentrating on getting it right. The air going out not making bubbles. The afternoon sun beating down on her back. Floating, floating on the lapping waves; gently swaying to their tempo. Lulled by the calm her mind moved on to the surroundings. The clear blue waters. The green sea weed she could make out growing in clumps at the bottom of the ocean. She felt she could do this forever.
Emboldened by the time that had passed, she struck out more into the ocean. Not quite too far though, she was a cautious being these days. Even in her favorite element. Roaming eyes looking out for any kind of moving life that might be around. This was bliss!

And then her fears kicked in and with a big wheeze for air, her head poked out and her hands beat around to find a hold; a hold on her balance till her feet hit rough sands and she was walking back to the shore. Snorkelling. Worth exploring more.

The Big "O"

Days have been exciting recently. Lots of good stuff happening. Latest of which was a week long trip to Puerto Rico. Loved the place. And the bunch of friends I went with. Memories for keeps :)

I hardly remember what I was doing this time ten years back. Must have been at college, finishing my last year of undergrad. Fretting when the academic year would end. Before I move on. Hoping for a glimpse into the future. Excited about what was to come next. Definitely. Don't think I was giving the year much significance though. This year, a decade later, there's more caution in the outlook. Thought to things to be done yet. With age comes wisdom? Recently I've started perceiving past as a buzz killer - experiences tend to shadow whats to come.. not in a bad way.. just that they take the edge off the excitement - maybe with anticipation. And it bothers me that I'm probably looking more to the past than I did a decade ago. Granted there is more to look at now than back then :P, but surely its as futile now as it was ten years ago?

Just considering the present, I love the place I am at right now. With a good mixture of excitement and comfort. Not much to complain about. But there are things to do. Not sure why that was said with a but. If there were no things to do, no point to life huh? More than things to do, I think this time I looking forward to more meaning. Not sure what to expect exactly.. :) but hey that adds to the excitement! So definitely looking forward to whats to come in the next ten years.

Know My English

I don't think I do. Over years, it has become a mode of communication and I omit paying attention to detail as long as I can communicate what I want to. And now that I'm reading material from early 20th century, from Indian authors who were educated in the proper usage of the language, I perceive the limitations in my understanding of it. Knowing the complete meaning of a word holds more importance now than it has ever before.
Like how analysis means - 'the separating of any material or abstract entity into its constituent elements'. I missed the part about the breaking down into elements... I took it to mean something like 'studying the nature of something' which is not the whole meaning. And so you can understand why I was surprised when I realized synthesis was its opposite.

No wonder I'm finding it hard to understand what I'm currently reading. Need to brush up on my English.

"Man is Always a Slave to the Past"

Read this today. It was like a revelation. I knew it to be true. But actually reading it in as many words felt like an enlightenment of sorts. Not sure why that should be.
To be rid of influences from the past - is that even remotely achievable? A daunting thought. But only then can one react freely to any situation. Only then can there be novelty to life.

Stumbled upon words of JK and have been reading some of his works since. Come upon conflicting ideas - "through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection". Don't you need to do introspective dissection to understand the contents of ones mind? What am I missing?

Had a similar conversation with a friend recently where I insisted what he was putting forth was just a play on words. But is the truth really that I am missing some essential difference my head is too thick to perceive yet?


"Insight without any shadow of the past" - JK.

Serenity

Lids lowered over translucent reflective eyes. Soft lashes skimming tender cheeks. Tiny lips pursed into a yawn. Fingers clutched into a harmless fist. Body wiggling like a hapless fish caught in a net. Mewling sounds from an exploring throat. The surrounding hush soothing. A babies sleep is potent enough to knock-out anyone watching over it.. a more relaxing sight have I yet to encounter.